You know your mama still loves you
And your sister too
We’re hoping that your ok
And we will see you soon
I hope you know that every night I pray and think of you
No matter how far you are
Just know I’m still with you
I know I promised you girls
that we would stay together
And I promised myself
I would get shit together
I was trying to stay strong
But I was just too broken
I was trying to hold on
As I was slowly falling
Monday, Jan 15th, 2018
I went to the hospital to get my ultrasound done to find out what I was having which happened to be a girl just what I wanted. Very exciting right then right after I found that out. I also found out that I was 2 cm dilated at 23 weeks and 2 days. So that left me in tears I was so happy and then ended with tears in my eyes because I didnt know what to do or expect.
So the doctor who informed me on that sent me downtown to the hospital to high risk to see what was going on. I went downtown and was in triage on the labor and delievery floor for about 2 hours they confirmed that i was dilated but since I was not having any contractions or pain they let me go home.
That following sat which was
Sat, jan 20th 2018
I started having cramping and i know tmi but my vagina was really sore. I wanted to go to the hospital but was too scared untill I had a few friends and my brother talked me into going. I then went to a hospital close to my apartment amd ended up keeping me and then transferring me to another hospital which was downtown because i was still early in my pregnancy and they didn’t have high risk doctors. I ended up staying the weekend there because i was having ealry contractions but it stopped so i got sent up the following Monday.
Then finally weds night I was sleeping amd woke up to really bad back pain I mean it was worst then period cramps it was coming and going up untill Thursday morning then I had to go back to the hospital again I was in early labor I was given steriod shots for baby’s lungs, magnesium sulfate and pills to stop my contractions they then checked my cervix and seen that I dilated more so they sent me downtown again to the other hospital. The next couple of days I stayed there and since I was taking all of those meds my labor stopped so I was gonna get discharged that following monday. Saturday afternoon they gave me my last contraction pill since everything was going good. I was so happy that it was almost monday because I was ready to go home. Saturday evening starting having pain in my back again and this time it was really strong and painful it was coming and going and getting stonger so I called for my nurse to tell her what was going on so she had the doctor come in to check me about 11:30 at night and she said that i was in labor I dilated more and she felt my water bag. So she told the nurse and they got more doctors they took me downstairs to active labor and delivery floor did an ultrasound to see if she was head down she wasn’t so I had to get an emergency csection. They rushed me to the operation room gave me my epidural and other meds and then it happened I was getting cut and having the baby. At 25 weeks and 1 day Isabella Rose Jones was born at 1 lb and 11 oz at 3:55 am on Jan 28th 2018. She was rushed out of room and straight to the nicu where she is now. Everything happened so fast im still in disbelief. She is days old and is doing good she is breathing on her own only needs 33% of oxygen. She is a fighter its gonna be a long journey in the nicu im just hoping staying positive her it was so hard not being able to hold her and bond with her I cant wait till that day comes. Just got discharged today I miss her already.
A Storm of Betrayal. When it rains, it pours. When it storms Storms of Betrayal. Will I EVER understand the definition of a man, a father? Caressing his daughter? Pure innocence robbed at 8 years old! In her own cradle! THE STORM OF BETRAYAL IN HER EYES! Full of hate and betrayal forever exists in her eyes!Promises that I would be protected from ghost and monsters.Only to be groped and grinded. telling me you “Love Me?”Beating on my brother, while tearing down my mother.Scars of pain, hurt, and lonely cries lies of scars to her heart EVERY TIME SHE SLEEPS!!!!Hearing whispers and cries.Tossing and turning, trying to push him off of her!Father amused by his abuse!Abandoning the trust and hope of his own daughter, the seed he produced to the world……….
A STORM OF BETRAYAL!
When it rains it pours for real, but when it storms, It Storms Of Betrayal. I will never understand the definition of a man, the definition of a father who caresses his own daughter, pure innocence cradle robbed at only 8 years old, the storm in her eyes is full of betrayal and full of hate,you promised to protect her from all the ghost and monsters, instead of protecting you chose to grope and grind her, telling her you love her and she’s better then her mother, beating on her brother while your tearing down her mother, across her heart lyes a scar, a scar of pain, hurt and lonely cries, every time she sleeps all you hear is whispers and cries, tossing and turning trying to push you of off her, she’s crying “oh no” but your steady forcing her, the look in her eyes is a storm of betrayal , a father protects not neglect, a father is amused and cheerful by the look of His beautiful daughter, he doesn’t abuse and abandon the trust and hope of his daughter. A storm of betrayal
A mothers touch of wisdom,love,and healing. The way she touches and caresses your little face, sings you a lullaby in her soft and soothing voice, when you get hurt she patches up your little heart and make you a warm meal, she bathes you in her tender love and care, she holds and make you warm when your cold, pack your lunch box and send little love notes in them, she holds your hand when your scared,make you tea and soup when you sick, go to your first game and cheer you on, she’s always there when you need her forever and always a mothers touch
I never thought that I would have made it this far in life. Over the past years I’ve been through war within my heart and life, as a warrior I still carry the scars of a warrior, tears of a goddess and endless wars within my life, falling in love and falling apart, I use to run and dive into the ocean filled with my tears and pain, inside my head my soul use to fear. I overcame that , I grew wiser and stronger. I’ve became someone I never knew I could become, I thought my life was over. But it wasn’t I was just in war within my life . I made it out happy and strong. A princess warrior of life is what I have become. I want to thank my mom for showing me that although you’ve been through a war you can get through it and become a strong and wise person tell your story to the world and help change someone else’s life, without my mom I wouldn’t have made it through .. Life within a princess warrior
Our last song,our last touch,the last time that we kissed,we made love for the last time,been two years since i thought about it,but it feels like it was just yesterday,i loved you not i loved you so,you promised me you’ll never let me go,i see promises dont seem to last forever,thats why im sitting here writing up this ex love letter,but truth be told im finally over you,yes it took some time,but i can proudly say it,that i feel free like i can love again my heart is beating faster ,its a little colder,my smile is brighter,im me again, and i just want you to know that you will always have a place somewhere in my heart,and i want to thank you for hurting me,causing all this pain and making me cry because not only did you make me a better and happier person,you made me realize that i deserve so much better.
your eyes is the window to your soul, the beauty within your heart overflows, the air that you breath is fairy dust, the things that you seen you had enough, the love that we share is passionate, your kisses are so sweet, like reese cups, the brightness of your smile lift me up, and the color in your eyes wake me up,your voice is so amazing its like music to my ears, while your touches are so warm, it makes me shiver in my dreams, haha for years I searched for your loving, our hearts joined together, like mc donalds we’re mc loving.
I realized that even though a girl has been heartbroken, lied to, or backstab by a so called friend, relationship, etc . She must still go on with her life, I mean hey you only get one life, one heart and one soul, live it up and be you, life is to short to care about nonsense, everything happens for a reason, bad or good, so just make the best of it, don’t cry or hate the world mother earth didn’t do anything to you, just let everything go and be free like a bird, fierce like a cheetah, and feisty like a kitten, always remember a girl must go on no matter what the situation is, so grab your lipstick, heels and purse and be fierce, remember who run the world! !!!!
♥♡♥ Enchanted sky, enchanted hearts, enchanted lies, beneath her eyes, under her flesh inside her soul, within her heart there is a hole, her blood is pumping, her veins enlarging, someone please come save this woman,come capture her from all running, come nurture her heart with your sweet loving, give her your last, give her the most, you are her highs and silly hopes,cherish her love , and always try and care the most Enchanted lies beneath her eyes
Enchanted sky, she is I
Sacred Goddess Diary 